Hi, I'm Eslam. I Make Dead SEO Work Again.

No fake potions. No shady hacks. Just smart, battle-tested SEO that makes Google say, "Damn."

10+ Years in SEO
500+ Sites Resurrected
99% Success Rate
🧙‍♂️
💻

💀 My Origin Story

Back in 2014, I ran my first SEO experiment. It failed so hard, even Bing laughed.

Fast-forward a few years, I've helped hundreds of sites rank, scale, and survive Google updates with nothing but real strategy and an unhealthy amount of coffee.

I started seodead.com because I got tired of cookie-cutter agencies and overpriced "gurus" who couldn't rank their own name.

⚡ Experience Highlights

  • 10+ years in SEO
  • Clients across e-commerce, SaaS, affiliate, and local
  • Survived every major Google update since Penguin 🐧
  • Ranked for keywords I never meant to
  • Read more Google patents than self-help books

🛠️ What I Actually Do

Sure, the memes are fun. But here's what I actually bring to the table:

🔧

Technical SEO

Yes, I read XML like bedtime stories

  • Core Web Vitals optimization
  • Schema markup implementation
  • Site architecture audits
  • Technical issue diagnosis
📝

Content Strategy

That doesn't suck

  • Keyword research & planning
  • Content gap analysis
  • SEO copywriting
  • Content optimization
🔗

Link Building

Without shady crap

  • Guest posting outreach
  • Broken link building
  • PR & media relations
  • Link audit & cleanup
🔍

SEO Audits

That feel like X-rays for your site

  • Comprehensive site analysis
  • Competitive research
  • Performance optimization
  • Actionable recommendations
💼

Consulting

For brands who need a grown-up SEO with Gen Z humor

  • Strategy development
  • Team training & coaching
  • Process optimization
  • Ongoing support

🧠 Bonus: I also coach teams, speak at online events, and occasionally roast bad SEO advice on Twitter.

💬 What People Say

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"He made my site rank. I forgave him for all the zombie jokes."
— A very patient client
🧠
"Brutally honest. Dangerously smart. My traffic doubled."
— Probably someone on LinkedIn
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"This guy knows SEO like I know coffee. Obsessively and with great results."
— Another caffeine addict

🎯 Why I Do This (Besides the Money, Obviously)

I built seodead.com to show that SEO can be smart, fun, and actually work.

If you're tired of vague strategies, copy-paste audits, and keyword stuffing from 2008 — we'll get along just fine.

🎯

Results-Driven

No vanity metrics. Just rankings and traffic that matter.

🤝

Transparent

No black hat tricks. Everything I do is above board.

🚀

Scalable

Strategies that grow with your business.

🧠 Fun (and Slightly Disturbing) Facts About Me

📚

I've read more Google patents than self-help books

True story. The patents are actually more interesting.

🐱

My cat is named Schema

She's structured, but not very organized.

🎯

I rank for keywords I never meant to

Sometimes Google just decides to love you.

🍕

I've A/B tested pizza toppings

Yes, pineapple won. Don't @ me.

☕

I drink more coffee than water

It's not healthy, but it's honest.

🧟‍♂️

I actually enjoy reading Google updates

Most people find this concerning.

📞 Let's Talk If You're:

  • ✅ A business owner who wants SEO that actually works
  • ✅ A marketer who needs help scaling content
  • ✅ Someone who found this page by Googling "is SEO dead?"
  • ✅ Tired of agencies that promise the moon but deliver a rock
  • ✅ Ready to rank and scale your business
🧪 Get a Free Audit 🧠 Book a Call With Me
💬 📞 📧